How Deep the Father's Love for Us

When I was a single woman, I had the opportunity to live on my own for almost a year. During that time period, I remember longing to meet my husband. Living alone was hard for me. I so desired to fill my life with the sounds of love and family. The irony is, at times, I almost wish I could have that quiet back! One thing that stands out to me the most in that time period is the intimate prayer and worship that I experienced with God and my Savior, Jesus. I remember vividly reading the Song of Solomon during my devotional times, and hearing in my heart sweet words. I wrote these dialogues down in the margins of my Bible, however that one was destroyed in a basement flood, so I have lost them. In the recesses of my heart and mind, however, those words are still with me. Can I share some intimate details with you?

Maybe some of you have trouble seeing Jesus as an intimate lover. No, of course not in a sexual way. But in the true sense of intimacy: knowing every detail of your heart and mind, body and soul. He does! What better husband could a woman have, than the One who knows her completely! This is what I learned during some very lonely times. Even in marriage, I've reminded myself of this. Jesus KNOWS me. Jesus LOVES me! He longs to make me His. What an amazing thought! The Darling of Heaven, God's only Son, desires to KNOW me and have me know Him.

Song of Solomon opens up with the lovers telling each other how attractive they are to each other. I don't know about you, but I've struggled with self esteem my whole life. I was never picture perfect, nor could I ever be. However, I heard almost as if He were sitting next to me, "You are beautiful. I made you just they way I wanted you. You couldn't be more perfect for me." What a revelation!! I started praying early on that my husband would love me for me, and know that we were made for each other. Jesus reminded me of this very truth- I have been made perfect in Him.

3:1 All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. 2 I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him.

How I had LONGED to know that kind of love! An undying, unmatched, passionate love that would keep me up all night when we were apart longing to be together again. I was reminded of another story. The prodigal son. The father in the story waited and waited for the son to return home. Once he did come home, a party was thrown and he was welcomed in as if nothing had happened. I was longing for the love of a man to fulfill a desire. Jesus reminded me that He also longed for me to return to Him and find my joy and happiness in His love. He left His place in Heaven, just to search for every lost soul and bring them home. He longed for my love, just as I longed for His.

4:16 is a bit graphic when understood what the Hebrew writter (Solomon) says. "Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits." Ok, so I can't know that type of relationship with Jesus, HOWEVER, I can know what it is like to have His love so deep in my heart that it is as apparent that I have been with him. Ok, you're all adults. You all know that it is obvious when you've been with your husband or wife in the joy of sex. If you walk back into the room, its obvious what has been going on. I want my intimacy with Jesus to be that evident. Ok, fine, think of it this way. Remember when Moses went up to Mt Siani to receive the commandments of the Lord? His face was glowing, literally! The shikina glory was so on him, that there was no mistake that he has been in the presence of the Almighty.

Song of Solomon was written by a king. King Solomon was the wisest man on earth, thought I suppose that could be argued when you remember that he had so many wives and concubines (KIDDING)! He was RICH! Whatever He wanted, he had it. Yet, his love for this woman, whom many suppose was his first wife and true love, is unmistakable. He adores her. He would do anything for her. If there is something that she desires, he will go to the highest of heights to get it. So much like my Jesus! He longed to make His Father happy and His joy complete, that He was willing to lay aside the Glory of Heaven to become human. He valued me- YOU- so much, that he was willing to lay his own life down to make sure that YOU would be with Him for eternity. What greater love is there? He loves you that much! If you take just a moment to really think about that, how can you struggle with self worth or appreciation? You are the most precious being to Him. If you had been the only person to say yes to Jesus, He still would have died for you. You are that worthy!!!

SInce these revelations, I have not struggled with my worth nearly as much. Does Satan still attack? Um, YEAH! But, I get to remind him that I know the truth, and that his lies will not beat me up anymore. It breaks my heart when I see my family or friends go through emotional pain, when I know that Jesus loves them in such a way. I hope that something in this writing can touch someone to cry out to Jesus to KNOW HIM and the power of His love.