Happy early morning to you all. Its 1225 am on Friday morning as I am typing this. Made the mistake of taking a nap tonight. Would have slept all night, but I drank way too much water! Speaking of which, I'm drinking a lot more lately. Tummy has been upset after eating. I feel like I'm not sleeping at all, which is not the case. I'm actually sleeping about 10 hours every night. Maybe I'm fighting off a stomach bug that's going around. Who knows!
Well, Rich and Ann went before the bishoric tonight. Sounds like the meeting went ok. Guess our blogs are being read by Bishop. Sir, if you read this one, I do hope that you are enlightend by what I write. Also, please know that I pray for you and the Ward nightly. The church has been a blessing to me in the short time I've been attending. Thank you.
I may be faced with shutting down my blog. I hope it does not come to that. I know that good comes from this. If nothing else, it gives me a chance to write down everything that I need to process, and allows me to get feedback. I really do enjoy writting here. I hope you all enjoy reading it.
Well, that's bout it for now. time to try to get some sleep before work tomorrow.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
I can't believe its been 2 weeks since I've sat down to write in this! Sorry to all of my followers who are sadly dissapointed (LOL). Ok, so here's a recap of what's been going on.
Home church is going well. Rich does a great job at preparing our lessons each week. Now, we just need to find a way to keep the kids busy so moms can pay attention. But, that's the case no matter where we worship. The kids faces are hilarious when they take a sip of the wine. Willow looked back at me with her fance all scrunched up, "that's yucky, Mommy." Soo cute!
This past week, we had a great discussion on why its important to listen to the voice of God, and not rely on the voices of those who have passed on. Its something that I did as a younger person, and something that one of my sister wives still hangs on to. Being a Christian household, we must hold fast to the Scriptures, and follow the leading of God.
I started work at a Catholic/ Opus Dei boarding house. I'm cleaning and cooking for 8 unmarried Catholic men. Hate it! I should be at home cooking and cleaning for my family of 9. But, the good news is- I just got hired on with Buy Buy Baby!!! Its temp to start, but I have no doubt that I will prove myself worthy to stay on full time :-D
I've really enjoyed reading the comments that each of you leave on my blog. It is good to know that people out there are really reading these random mumblings of my mind. I assure you, there is more to come. Tomorrow's task: rearranging bedrooms to make room for everyone.
On a more solemn note: Rich and Ann face the Bishphoric tomorrow night for the excommunication hearing. I know both of them are dreading actually hearing the words, but we will stand strong as a family as we follow God in a new direction. I will miss our congregation at the LDS, but I know that God has a plan and purpose for this happening. Selfishly, I hope its to rock the boat a little.
Till next time, God bless you!
Home church is going well. Rich does a great job at preparing our lessons each week. Now, we just need to find a way to keep the kids busy so moms can pay attention. But, that's the case no matter where we worship. The kids faces are hilarious when they take a sip of the wine. Willow looked back at me with her fance all scrunched up, "that's yucky, Mommy." Soo cute!
This past week, we had a great discussion on why its important to listen to the voice of God, and not rely on the voices of those who have passed on. Its something that I did as a younger person, and something that one of my sister wives still hangs on to. Being a Christian household, we must hold fast to the Scriptures, and follow the leading of God.
I started work at a Catholic/ Opus Dei boarding house. I'm cleaning and cooking for 8 unmarried Catholic men. Hate it! I should be at home cooking and cleaning for my family of 9. But, the good news is- I just got hired on with Buy Buy Baby!!! Its temp to start, but I have no doubt that I will prove myself worthy to stay on full time :-D
I've really enjoyed reading the comments that each of you leave on my blog. It is good to know that people out there are really reading these random mumblings of my mind. I assure you, there is more to come. Tomorrow's task: rearranging bedrooms to make room for everyone.
On a more solemn note: Rich and Ann face the Bishphoric tomorrow night for the excommunication hearing. I know both of them are dreading actually hearing the words, but we will stand strong as a family as we follow God in a new direction. I will miss our congregation at the LDS, but I know that God has a plan and purpose for this happening. Selfishly, I hope its to rock the boat a little.
Till next time, God bless you!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Preparing for Church
I have been given the task of preparing flatbread for sacrament on Sunday. I've made it before, but I feel more humbled this time. I guess I understand the meaning more now, that I am preparing such a holy blessing for my family. With this task, I am also preparing to teach my sister-wives more about the Bible. Ann was not raised in church, and the LDS is more focused on teaching doctrine than anything else. B has gone off and on, but does not have a strong foundation either. I guess my years of Bible College are finally paying off. I am humble and almost scared to take this on. I am not a spiritual leader! It is one thing for me to teach my children about God and how much He loves them. It is another thing entirely to teach my sisters! Rich is leading us as a family in the Sacrament, as well as a family "sermon". I want to teach my sister's more about the women in the Bible, and how to follow the good, and avoid the bad. What a task that has been set before me! I've always said that I learn and draw closer by teaching; I guess Heavenly Father is giving me that opportunity now.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Desperate...
The past few weeks, I have walked around this house in a daze. I feel empty, lost. Part of me feel dead. Its a terrible feeling! This morning, in the still of the morning, I finally figured out why. I have gotten so busy with life, that I've let my Spiritual life fall to the wayside. I have let myself get so bogged down with the business of life, that I have forgotten to just "be still".
Jesus, I need You to come and be here with me. I am DESPERATE for your touch again. Bring new life to this dry and thirsty soul. I want to know you on a level I have never known you before!
Jesus, I need You to come and be here with me. I am DESPERATE for your touch again. Bring new life to this dry and thirsty soul. I want to know you on a level I have never known you before!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
More changes...
DH just got home from visiting our ward Bishop. Apparently, someone from our ward found someone's facebook page and a blog. Rich and Ann will be getting called before the disciplinary board, and will be excommunicated from the church; a blow we all knew was coming, but we were not ready for. My baptism was set to be on Saturday. I still plan on holding that schedule, but we will not be doing it at church. I will have Rich do it privately with just our family. I know we are not the first family to be kicked out of a church for polygamy, and we will not be the last. No longer do we have to hide. We can be open about our family, and be proud of our family. God has given us each to each other, and I will never turn my back on the blessings He has poured out on us.
On the other part of my life...my ex called and said that he had moved back to Tennessee. I was shocked, until I heard why. His cousin had a logging company, and wanted Ex to buy it out and take over the trucking side. He bought 8 trucks, and is going to be passing on a family business to my daughter when the time comes for him to give it up. What a blessing! This was his lifelong dream, and his hope to give his daughter something to inherit.
Crazy, mixed up day...
On the other part of my life...my ex called and said that he had moved back to Tennessee. I was shocked, until I heard why. His cousin had a logging company, and wanted Ex to buy it out and take over the trucking side. He bought 8 trucks, and is going to be passing on a family business to my daughter when the time comes for him to give it up. What a blessing! This was his lifelong dream, and his hope to give his daughter something to inherit.
Crazy, mixed up day...
Sunday, August 29, 2010
A daunting task is at hand
I try not to play the comparison game with other women. It is not fair of me to measure myself to someone else, when the only standard I should be worried about is how I measure up to Jesus. However, that is so hard to do. The woman whom I most often compare myself to is a standard that I will never be able to reach. So, why do I do it? Its frustrating, but I do it anyway. Who is this woman? Well, I believe she is the one all Godly women should strive to be like. She can be found in the book of Proverbs, chapter 31. Using The Message, an interpretation of the Scriptures, I want to share with you the woman I want to become.
"Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it." I do not EVER want to give my dh reason to distrust me, or to question my motives for anything I do. I want my motives and actions to be above reproach at all times.
"She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day." Anyone who knows me, knows that I hate mornings. I do not function well early in the morning. However, now that I have a large family, I must become more diligent is getting up and making sure everyone is fed. Victoria starts school this week. With prayer, I start work this week, also. I am taking it upon myself to ensure that she has a filling breakfast to keep her going until lunch time. If I eat also, I will be less apt to stop at McDonald's for food on my way to work, too.
"She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden." I will be working outside the home. I have chosen to do this for a few reasons, but the most important being that I need a break from this house in order to be a kind, sweet person. I have chosen (or it chose me...) a profession that I am skilled in, and that pays very well. I consider my calling to be an interpreter in ASL to be not only a gift from God to teach His children about Him, but also a wonderful way to care for my family. With the money I will be earning, I will be able to care for my family is a wise way. Father, please show me how to be a faithful steward of the provision You will provide!
"First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, and is in no hurry to call it quits for the day." I have learned that if I stay in my jammies all day, the only thing I want to do is sleep and be lazy. I MUST get up, get dressed and be about my work. When I put on my clothes, it seems to make me more diligent about doing my job. Also, I take pride in making sure that, most days, I dress well. I do not want my husband to look at me and see a slob. I want him to be proud of me, even if I am just at home. I want to look my best, as often as I can, to encourage myself to be the best I can, and to please his eye.
"She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking." I am not prideful about many things, but I am proud that I was wise enough to learn from my Grandma and my Mom how to take care of a home, and how to cook filling, healthy, and inexpensive meals for my family. I am still learning to sew to the skill level I want, but that will come with practice. I still have much to learn, but no one in my home goes hungry!!!
"She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks...she designs gowns and sells them...her clothes are well made and elegant, she always faces tomorrow with a smile." I can't wait until I can get my sewing machine and start sewing clothes again. I want to make pajamas for everyone, and even some clothes for Victoria to wear for school and church. I want to dress modestly, covering myself well, as to not let the world see the body that only my husband is to know. I want to make some long skirts for myself, and my sister wives if they wish. I long for my clothes to not only flatter, but to be lovely. I want my husband to look at me and be honored that I am keeping myself for him alone, and looking nice to bring respect to myself, as well as to him. My smile and positive attitude MUST proceed me each day. I want to look at each new day as a blessing from the Lord, and as a new day to care for the family He has blessed me with.
"When she speaks, she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly." This is one I must continue to work on. I do not want idle words pouring from my mouth, but words that are edifying and encouraging. I want to raise my daughters to be strong women of God, and my sons to know how to treat their future wives. I want each of them to know how to run a home in a Godly manner. I want my sister-wives to know that I love them for who they are, and only wish to encourage them to be the women that I know God has made them to be. Never do I want to compare anyone to anyone else. I want each member of my family to be who God made them to be, not like anyone else. I want my wonderful husband to hear words of encouragement from me, not words to tear him down or belittle him. He is a man of God, and I want to bless him daily.
"She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them busy and productive." I don't think anyone here thinks I need anymore work on this one! I just hope they understand I do not "crack the whip" to be mean or nasty, but so that we can work in harmony and keep our home orderly so that we can ENJOY our lives!!! Not to mention, idle hands are the devil's playground!
"Her children respect and bless her, her husband joins in with words of praise: 'Many women have done wonderful things, but you have outclassed them all.'" Most of my children are too young to "bless" me at this point. When I am old, and even gone onto being with my God, I want them to look back on my life and know that I did my best to raise them in a Godly manner; making them all they could be. I want my husband to be proud of me everyday, and see me as a Godly wife.
"Charm can mislead, and beauty quickly fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises." I am not the most beautiful woman in the world, nor do I want to be. I am good at public speaking, but do not have the charm to wow millions. These vanities are empty. I want to live a life that puts God first. I want Him to be the center of my attention, the reason I do everything, and the very purpose of my life here on earth. I do not do this for the glory and adoration I may receive, but for the reason that He deserves my love and adoration. My Savior left his Throne in Heaven- the center of all praise and glory- to take my sin, abuse, depression, illnesses, and everything else off of me. Jesus came to teach me how to live, to die in my place, and to conquer Death so that I can be united with him in Heaven when my life is over. I want to give Him every day of my life.
I am making a lot of changes in my life. I am dressing more modest (I can't dress much more modestly), wearing more skirts and higher cut shirts. I am cutting out soda, and drinking much more water. I will only eat foods that will encourage my body to be healthy (with the occasional chocolate as needed). I want to take care of myself so that I can be around for my children as they grow. I want to be beautiful both inwardly and outwardly for my husband. I want to be proud of the Temple that God has given me to serve Him in while I roam this earth.
"Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it." I do not EVER want to give my dh reason to distrust me, or to question my motives for anything I do. I want my motives and actions to be above reproach at all times.
"She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day." Anyone who knows me, knows that I hate mornings. I do not function well early in the morning. However, now that I have a large family, I must become more diligent is getting up and making sure everyone is fed. Victoria starts school this week. With prayer, I start work this week, also. I am taking it upon myself to ensure that she has a filling breakfast to keep her going until lunch time. If I eat also, I will be less apt to stop at McDonald's for food on my way to work, too.
"She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden." I will be working outside the home. I have chosen to do this for a few reasons, but the most important being that I need a break from this house in order to be a kind, sweet person. I have chosen (or it chose me...) a profession that I am skilled in, and that pays very well. I consider my calling to be an interpreter in ASL to be not only a gift from God to teach His children about Him, but also a wonderful way to care for my family. With the money I will be earning, I will be able to care for my family is a wise way. Father, please show me how to be a faithful steward of the provision You will provide!
"First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, and is in no hurry to call it quits for the day." I have learned that if I stay in my jammies all day, the only thing I want to do is sleep and be lazy. I MUST get up, get dressed and be about my work. When I put on my clothes, it seems to make me more diligent about doing my job. Also, I take pride in making sure that, most days, I dress well. I do not want my husband to look at me and see a slob. I want him to be proud of me, even if I am just at home. I want to look my best, as often as I can, to encourage myself to be the best I can, and to please his eye.
"She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking." I am not prideful about many things, but I am proud that I was wise enough to learn from my Grandma and my Mom how to take care of a home, and how to cook filling, healthy, and inexpensive meals for my family. I am still learning to sew to the skill level I want, but that will come with practice. I still have much to learn, but no one in my home goes hungry!!!
"She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks...she designs gowns and sells them...her clothes are well made and elegant, she always faces tomorrow with a smile." I can't wait until I can get my sewing machine and start sewing clothes again. I want to make pajamas for everyone, and even some clothes for Victoria to wear for school and church. I want to dress modestly, covering myself well, as to not let the world see the body that only my husband is to know. I want to make some long skirts for myself, and my sister wives if they wish. I long for my clothes to not only flatter, but to be lovely. I want my husband to look at me and be honored that I am keeping myself for him alone, and looking nice to bring respect to myself, as well as to him. My smile and positive attitude MUST proceed me each day. I want to look at each new day as a blessing from the Lord, and as a new day to care for the family He has blessed me with.
"When she speaks, she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly." This is one I must continue to work on. I do not want idle words pouring from my mouth, but words that are edifying and encouraging. I want to raise my daughters to be strong women of God, and my sons to know how to treat their future wives. I want each of them to know how to run a home in a Godly manner. I want my sister-wives to know that I love them for who they are, and only wish to encourage them to be the women that I know God has made them to be. Never do I want to compare anyone to anyone else. I want each member of my family to be who God made them to be, not like anyone else. I want my wonderful husband to hear words of encouragement from me, not words to tear him down or belittle him. He is a man of God, and I want to bless him daily.
"She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them busy and productive." I don't think anyone here thinks I need anymore work on this one! I just hope they understand I do not "crack the whip" to be mean or nasty, but so that we can work in harmony and keep our home orderly so that we can ENJOY our lives!!! Not to mention, idle hands are the devil's playground!
"Her children respect and bless her, her husband joins in with words of praise: 'Many women have done wonderful things, but you have outclassed them all.'" Most of my children are too young to "bless" me at this point. When I am old, and even gone onto being with my God, I want them to look back on my life and know that I did my best to raise them in a Godly manner; making them all they could be. I want my husband to be proud of me everyday, and see me as a Godly wife.
"Charm can mislead, and beauty quickly fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises." I am not the most beautiful woman in the world, nor do I want to be. I am good at public speaking, but do not have the charm to wow millions. These vanities are empty. I want to live a life that puts God first. I want Him to be the center of my attention, the reason I do everything, and the very purpose of my life here on earth. I do not do this for the glory and adoration I may receive, but for the reason that He deserves my love and adoration. My Savior left his Throne in Heaven- the center of all praise and glory- to take my sin, abuse, depression, illnesses, and everything else off of me. Jesus came to teach me how to live, to die in my place, and to conquer Death so that I can be united with him in Heaven when my life is over. I want to give Him every day of my life.
I am making a lot of changes in my life. I am dressing more modest (I can't dress much more modestly), wearing more skirts and higher cut shirts. I am cutting out soda, and drinking much more water. I will only eat foods that will encourage my body to be healthy (with the occasional chocolate as needed). I want to take care of myself so that I can be around for my children as they grow. I want to be beautiful both inwardly and outwardly for my husband. I want to be proud of the Temple that God has given me to serve Him in while I roam this earth.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Just another manic monday...
Well, the weekend is over. My baby girl is home with me once again. She had a fantastic weekend with her daddy, but I'm happy to have her back with me. Slept so much better knowing she's home with me.
I'm waiting for the phone to ring with an interview at the Janesville School System. Found out about an interpreting job there. Things have gone great up to this point in the proceedings, and I can only assume that the phone interview will go just as well. Only time with tell!
Sitting here, I'm watching my dh on his computer. I'm really worried about him. He misses Wendy so much, and we can't really help him through this pain. We all want to, but his heart is shattered. How do you get someone you love through so much grief? I'm just praying for wisdom and grace. My heart aches for him.
We tried our new schedule this morning. So far, the kids are just tired and cranky. Ah, the joys of the new school year! Victoria goes back Sept 1. We are trying to homeschool the two year olds, and get them ready for pre-k. How in the world do kids grow up so fast???? In some ways, I miss having my little baby. However, what a joy it is to see my little girl grow up and become a young lady day by day.
I'm waiting for the phone to ring with an interview at the Janesville School System. Found out about an interpreting job there. Things have gone great up to this point in the proceedings, and I can only assume that the phone interview will go just as well. Only time with tell!
Sitting here, I'm watching my dh on his computer. I'm really worried about him. He misses Wendy so much, and we can't really help him through this pain. We all want to, but his heart is shattered. How do you get someone you love through so much grief? I'm just praying for wisdom and grace. My heart aches for him.
We tried our new schedule this morning. So far, the kids are just tired and cranky. Ah, the joys of the new school year! Victoria goes back Sept 1. We are trying to homeschool the two year olds, and get them ready for pre-k. How in the world do kids grow up so fast???? In some ways, I miss having my little baby. However, what a joy it is to see my little girl grow up and become a young lady day by day.
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