Friday, August 13, 2010

If I could have but one wish, it would be for people to understand that I am happy and safe. No one seems to understand that my life in this home is not the Hollywood idea of polygamy. That misconception is the hardest thing in the world for me to deal with. Everyone at home seems to think that I'm going to hell because I'm sinning. Um, yeah, I am a sinner. I'm also saved by grace. We all are. I'm not living a life that is forbidden in Scripture. Actually, I can find more to back it up than I can to dismiss it! Ugh.
I'm also dealing with the remnants of a broken marriage. Never in my life did I think that I would have to deal with a divorce, and especially not visitation stuff. But, I guess I was naive to think that fairy tales really do exist. Willow will see her dad next weekend for the first time in over a year. The last day we saw him was the day he moved north. Last time, she took to him like a duck takes to water. This time, I don't know how she will react. I know that when I turn around to leave and head home, she's going to scream and cry. I know I'll cry. I've never spent a night without her, let alone a weekend. She's had such a hard time sleeping lately, that I'm afraid she's going to give him quite a run for his money. She doesn't like to sleep without me, and will probably wake up a few times at night crying because I'm not there.
Also, he and I just can't have a civil conversation. I just wish he would understand that I have not put his daughter in a situation that is going to cause her pain or end in abuse. This family is loving, not scary. I just want people to see that.

No comments:

Post a Comment