Monday, August 2, 2010

I must decrease, so Christ can increase...

Those words by John that Baptist ring in my heart every once in a while. I must become less and less, so that Christ can become greater. That is a hard thing to do! I've never really been a prideful person, and my friends growing up can attest to that. I knew where my strengths were (mainly musical), but I was shy and very backwards. Definately shunned at school for my outward faith. It was actually very easy to not be prideful in that, as I was teased relentlessly for being who I was.
However, I've noticed since moving here, I'm becoming prideful in my abilities as a homemaker. As I've alluded to before, my sister-wives can't really cook much. Neither are real motivated to clean most days (girls, I said MOST days...don't freak out on me). Now, my mother will be SHOCKED to hear that I cleaned the other apartment when we moved into our home. See, at her house, I hated keeping my room clean. It just took way too much effort, and meant I had to be alone. Two things I hated as a teenager. When I was a single mom, I was terrible at keeping up with the dishes, as I was exhausted by the time I got off work and cooked dinner. I hate to admit that dishes would pile up for weeks, usually getting done by my parents because I'd just get overwhelmed.
Its these reminders that I must keep in mind daily. It wasn't long ago at all that I wanted to do nothing but sit around all day and play with my daughter. However, I'm in a household of 9 now! There isn't time to sit around all day and get things done at the same time. I get so frustrated at my sister wives because all they seem to do is sit, or take care of the babies ( 4 months and 6 months). Pride stared me in the eye tonight as I realized that I am here for a reason.
I am not here to condemn, or to come down on them for lack of motivation. The Bible tells us that older women are to train younger women in life. I must realize that my sister wives are younger than me in the area of homemaking. Even though Ann is by age older, she was never taught. Brandy is younger, and we have much to teach her. I am here to love my family, as well as train these women up. Also, I have two daughters that we must train to be Godly women who can run a home. So far, we have taught them nothing. Before I married my DH, Willow was taught to pick her toys up every night before bed, and even before meals. I became lazy when I moved here because of how the house is run. That must end.
I was also confronted by the Holy Spirit tonight, that I must lead by example. If I want my family to be more spiritual, I must be. I must get in the habit of Bible Study daily (something I have ALWAYS struggled with), and teaching these children about the Love of God. Our two-year-olds are going to begin basic homeschooling activities very soon, and I am going to have an age appropriate religion lesson with them, also. They were given to us for a reason, and it is our responsibility to ensure they are trained in the right way.
Wow...i have a lot of "dying" to do....
I'd love to continue sitting around all day, playing on the computer and watching tv, but I'm letting precious time go by. I must run this home the way God has called me to do it. If I do not care for the tasks He has given me, I will loose the blessings He has poured out. That's a hard revelation to take in. I must be faithful in the little things before He will trust me with more.
Please, Lord Jesus, help me become the Woman of God that You want me to be. Show me how to die daily, so that You may live through me.

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